The Day Nothing Got Done

That was my day yesterday.  It wasn’t not quite intentional. I did at least want to write, but I woke up with a headache that I was trying to prevent from becoming a migraine. Then add in some cramps, while the back and hips were trying to decide if they wanted to flare up again or not.  So creatively, I ended up doing nothing. And I felt guilty for it! That might seem silly, but that’s where I go to when I don’t do the things I wanted to or planned to do. Guilt sets in and I get hard on myself. Then I feel like a failure and a fraud. Like who am I to call myself an artist or a writer or a photographer (hobbiest still learning). Round and Round the cycle goes.

Learning how to NOT bash myself for not doing things is hard. But how do I create new habits, how do I live a creative life if I don’t do the work?  Did all of you creatives out there go through this? Is this what it is like in the beginning, when you  are starting to, wanting to get serious about living a creative life?  Is it supposed be hell? Hard? I suppose if it were easy, everyone would do it right?

So I am writing a post today. If I understand what Jeff said correctly, if you miss a day don’t stress about catching up, just pick up where you left off. So I will not stress to write 1000 words today.  If I somehow get there over the course of the day, GREAT! If I don’t, that’s okay too.  The point is I wrote today.  My goal right now is to get into a daily or almost daily practice of writing.  I did so well with Effy’s blog along in September. Didn’t do to bad in October, if I recall. And November was pretty good for writing even though not always on the blog.  I want to get back to that, like I was in September even if it was only on the blog I was still writing every single day.

Oh yeah so that Granny Square I was working on while we were waiting at the hospital. I kept going over and over in my mind where I might have goofed and for the life of me I couldn’t figure it out.  Then yesterday, a few others participating posted photos of their newly made squares and it hit me.  I finally knew what I did.  I feel kind of silly. Dumb. Stupid?  It might even be a little funny actually.  So there I was, trying to make it using the “easier” pattern. And I thought that was what I was doing.  It turns out, I was doing the other pattern (sort of) and didn’t even know it. I was doing the corners correctly, but not the sides of the square.  The only part though that I can’t seem to make workable is that last side where I have to join to the start so I can go to round three. Maybe if I take out a stitch? Maybe that will work.  I don’t know, but I can try.  If that fails, well I guess I am unraveling it yet again LOL. I have to make 3 in total to catch up to 1 a day.  1 per day minimum, though we can make more if we want to.

So lesson learned that day: Don’t try to be creative on very little sleep, no “real” coffee, and when your mind is elsewhere.

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