Another Saturday Ramble

Whelp….not able to go to the biggest yard sale.  Still out for the count.  But I’d rather get better and not go run around and end up getting worse yet.  And don’t you know, on top of the yard sale, one of the art supply stores is having their annual sidewalk sale, and there’s a Russian food festival that I have been wanting to go to since I found out about it some seven-ish years ago.  Oh well…….always next year, right.

All these states passing these hideous and inhuman laws against women.  I’m trying to understand with how these passing are even legal, constitutional.  And I can’t.  But then, I saw a few posts where people are saying this is an attempt to get the whole thing before the supreme court to try and overturn Roe v. Wade.  Well FUCK!  This is just so wrong. Because they don’t give to fucks about the woman or the potential baby.  And some of these states/laws are also including possible punishment for miscarrying. How fucking ridiculous!

I’ve miscarried.  It’s not a joke.  I know women who also have, their experience was worse than mine.  It was not a joke for them either.  And to think that they want to even prosecute a woman for miscarrying…..This whole business with these asinine laws is outrageous.  I’ve never been in a position where I had to make a choice. But I support any woman who needs to make that choice.  To not allow for exception for rape and incest is appalling! I just can’t even find words to express what’s on my mind.

I had so many thoughts for what to write about last night and now I can’t recall any of them.  I guess I should have started a posted and saved to pick up this morning.  But I thought I might actually remember. Hmmph…that’s what I get for thinking, eh lol.

I think perhaps it’s best if I take some more medication and get some more rest so I can keep getting over this cold.

Have a great weekend.
Full Moon Blessings.

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Friday Round Up

It’s been a hell of a week with this cold.  Still feels like my 20 pound cat is sitting on my chest.   Sudafed and Echinacea seem to be helping, as does sleeping till 9:30 in the morning.  Not my usual wake up time, but I’ll take it if it makes me get better.

It’s another chilly and rainy day here.  Supposed to be more of the same tomorrow. “Mom’s” got a bad sinus infection and is now on antibiotics.  So the yard sale event is up in the air right now.  If we can’t, there’s always next year.

So……….Garth Brooks tickets.   SOLD OUT! in under an hour!!!!!!!

BUT………….

WE ARE GOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Now…..I can be excited!!

Discovered another British crime show that I can’t wait for the next season.  It’s called “Unforgotten” and seasons 1&2 are currently on Prime.  Six episodes each.  One continuous story line for each season.  SO GOOD!  I binged both yesterday because I ran out of Mrs. Maisel episodes to watch.

Going to rest now so can keep getting better.

Count down to Garth: 2 Months, 3 Days

Thursday’s Thoughts

Still down and out.

Back and hands hurt again. But I am thinking it might not be cold related? Dunno really.
Sometimes feels like my 20 pound cat is sitting on my chest. And face hurts from my
sinuses.  Oh the joy 😦     I think I was doing better with Sudafed so I might go back to that today.

And I’m thinking this is another bed day too.  It’s cloudy and chilly and probably going to rain some more.  I ache, so it’s most likely best. Rest and rest and rest is best, right?

I binged the rest of season 2 of Mrs Maisel yesterday.  It was good. Worth me waiting.  But now I need to find something else.

I slept until almost 9:30 but feel like I could even go back to sleep again.

Poor “Mom” has had this for almost 2 weeks now and has been to the doctor.  We make for a right fine pair if we’re in the same room.  Since she’s till trying to get over her thing and now I have my thing.  I thought it best if stayed mostly in my room.

Especially since sitting at my computer feels awful right now.

Topping off my coffee and going back to bed to snuggle with the fur babes.

Wednesday’s Words

Not going to be much today either.

Still feeling down and out with this “Thing” *waves hand around*
Cold, whatever. At least I’m not as achy as I was yesterday, so that’s a plus.

I finished the final season of “Downton Abbey”.  Now, I’m contemplating
starting over lol.  In the mean time, I finally started season two of
“The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”. Only the first episode though.

It was funny watching one of the episodes of “Midsomer Murders” the other night.
It was an episode from 1999 and in it was a rather young Orlando Bloom and one of the
estates was called Lothlorien.  It was amusing because two years later, he would be in
“Lord of the Rings”.  Also in the same episode was a young Tobias Menzies, who most recently has played Black Jack/Frank Randall in “Outlander” and Edmure Tully in “Game of Thrones”.  He will also be taking on the role of Prince Philip in “The Crown” this year.

You know what bugs me….when someone tries to bully another person into doing a thing they don’t feel like doing for various reasons.  When they try to guilt trip them into the thing. It’s so annoying.  And the tripper thinks it’s funny to do, too.  Making it even more annoying.  Or they do the “well you did it for this person, why can’t you do it for me” bit. And you have to stay silent because it’s not your battle to fight.  But the person doesn’t because they want to keep peace. So they do the thing they don’t want to do.  And the person doing the tripping even knows what they are doing is wrong, but they don’t care as long as they get their way out of it.

I probably should make a cup of tea and put myself back in bed.  Rest and fluids and remedies. That’s what I need to be doing.

Tuesday’s Thoughts

Probably not going to spend much time on a post today.

The crud is trying to invade.  My body aches. Even my hands!
I’m congested but whether it’s allergies or the crud or both….is anyone’s guess.
I’m going to what I can to minimize the impact.  I’ve already started taking the
echinacea.  I swear I butcher that word every time I try to write it lol.

I really just want to hug the heating pad even though it’s supposed to be in the 80s
today.  Bathe in Vick’s and suck down tea and throat drops and whatever else I can
think of to ward off this thing.  Hopefully I can kick it to the curb in a day or two.

Back to bed with me then. UGH!

Monday’s Musings

I’m trying to maybe come up with some catchy blog posts titles for the days of the week. So I don’t have to keep trying to come up with titles.  Sometimes it’s a pain to come up with one lol.

Another warm day.  Pollen count must be through the roof because I feel miserable today. Plus I might be catching that cold that’s going around. I started taking the echinacea today, try to head it off at the pass if I can.  I don’t have any vitamin C though to take with it.  I really don’t want a cold. Not with that giant yard sale to go to this weekend.

GoT…………..FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!  That about sums it up, right? Underwhelming? Anticlimactic? Part of me is like WTF was that?  Part of me is disappointed because I expected more? Better?  I don’t know.  It felt……lacking in some scenes.  Worse than what happened with Ghost.  Now, I’m only on the second book. So I am not sure how much they deviate from there.  I thought the first book mirrored the first season fairly well.  Let me just say that I hope Martin does better than D & D are doing with these final episodes.

I think it’s a ramen in a cup kinda day for lunch.  I know it’s not a good food choice, but it’s what sounds good. And when I’m coming down with something or trying to, then it’s all about comfort foods for me. And for me, that’s soups and casseroles.  Though, it might be too warm for the oven today and I have no egg noodles for casserole anyway.

Do you know how easy it is to just not write? Or post?  Or say, I’ll do it later and then it doesn’t get done?  I do.  It is remarkably easy and I fall into that trap all too often.  So I’ve been trying to write early in the day.  Sometimes during morning coffee or at least before lunch.  If I don’t, it would be way too easy to put off and put off and put off some more. I’ve done it so many times, it’s easy to notice when I’m doing it.  Just not always easy for me to resist doing it.  Right now, I figure if I am posting then I am writing and I call that a win.  If I can put myself in the habit of writing and posting, then I can eventually work up into the habit of writing other things.  It’s a start at least or hopefully it is.

Now, I think I will partake of my ramen and watch yesterday’s episode of Call the Midwife.  Then later, maybe a couple of past episodes of Midsomer Murders. We’re on season three.   But we do have the season finale of 911 tonight.  So we’ll see how it goes on what to watch later.

 

It’s Mother’s Day

Last night, I was thinking about my grandmothers.
How vastly different they were.

Grandma J passed when I was 11.  I was there when they took her away in the
ambulance. I wanted to go too, but they made me stay behind with my dad. I was devastated when my mother called and said she was gone.

I’ve been trying to remember her ways.  I don’t recall her being an
affectionate woman.  I don’t recall hugs or cuddles or kisses or snuggles.
I don’t remember her ever saying “I love you”.  I remember her cooking. That’s what I remember most.  And playing cards. When things weren’t going her way
how she’d get a little heated. How every Sunday, my mom and I would go over for lunch.

Now, Grandma H, was the opposite.  She wasn’t a big cook but she was good at what she made.  But she was the affectionate one.  She would laugh and joke and play games. I could crawl on to her lap for hugs or cuddles when ever I wanted, until I grew too big to fit in her lap.  She was the one who would look after me when my parents needed child care.  She was the one who took care of me when my parents took off for Thanksgiving weekend when I was barely a month old. It was at her house that I slept over many a night when I was little.

A friend of mine made a post on Facebook today about how she didn’t have a good relationship with her mom.  And that they were estranged for 17 years.  It was six months before she found out her mom passed because no one reached out to tell her. There were things in her post I could relate to with regards to my own mother.

We were also estranged for over 15 years.  In her final moments, the doctor kept calling me for decisions. Ones that weren’t mine to make.  A short time later, she was gone. And I guess I felt some relief.  I couldn’t really cry and part of me feels guilty that I couldn’t do that.  I shed a few tears, but I couldn’t cry.

We didn’t have the best relationship.  She was controlling. She was bitter. She was spiteful.  I can remember when I was very little, kindergarten age.  I had gotten a Barbie townhouse for Christmas a few months earlier.  She was livid that I had gotten it as a gift. One day, she was angry.  So very angry, but I didn’t know why.  She was giving me the silent treatment.  Then she came in and started breaking the town house apart. I was heartbroken.  I never knew why she did this.

But this was a regular thing with her.  She would get angry about something. I’d get the silent treatment like it was my fault. Then she would come in with a big trash bag and start throwing all my things away.  As I got older, it mostly just became getting the silent treatment.  Sometimes it was hours, sometimes it was days.  And gods forbid I didn’t agree with her on something.  She made sure that I knew I was an accident and shouldn’t have been born.

I think she was probably a deeply disturbed woman, possibly with her own unhealed traumas.  Maybe she did the best she could, the best she knew how.  I don’t know.  I will never know.  I just hope that she has finally found the peace she needed.

I  hope they have all found peace.

Saturday Ramble

It’s the weekend!  It’s lovely outside right now.
Tomorrow they say it will 90 or near enough.
Not ready for that!  Too soon for me, but then I don’t do well
with the heat anymore. Hopefully it won’t be like a middle of
August 90.  Then I think I can handle it.  Not that I expect to be
going anywhere.

I think this is going to be one of those days.
A day where anything and everything frustrates me.
My dissatisfaction with my art corner.
My Muse being silent and evasive for so long.
Not reading as much as I would like.
Not writing my stories because the words won’t come.
Not painting because….reasons, stupid ones but they’re there.
Not cooking what I want sometimes.  I miss cooking sometimes.
Not being able to blast music because it makes me feel good.
Not being able to dance and sing to said music.
Not being able to watch certain shows because they are on platforms
we don’t subscribe too.  Stupid, I know. But there it is lol.
When you try to have boundaries and people think it’s hilarious to
try to push them or ignore them all together.
It’s silly really.  Some of it out of my control, some not.
Maybe I’m just being overly sensitive to shit right now.

Sometimes, I wonder if I shouldn’t maybe be a hermit.
Live in a caravan in the middle of the woods somewhere.
Grow what I can.
You see it on tv shows all the time.  I always wonder though,
if they’re the solitary type and don’t have an income how do they
support themselves and buy supplies?  They never explain that part.

Eh, I’m just being moody no doubt.  It’s a feeling that will pass.
I think it is just the frustration of the things I can’t control that are getting to me.

I think maybe I’ll top off my coffee, have a snack, and enjoy the birds singing.

Friday’s Thoughts

Friday is for sitting around in your pajamas and robe!
Not really, but it’s my day today.  I just don’t feel like getting dressed 🙂
I’m not going anywhere, no one is coming over, so it’s all good…RIGHT?!
Especially since we started the day with no power for two hours!

I think, maybe there are two of these ginormous black birds.  There was one across
the road and I’m pretty sure one in the back field somewhere.  I heard them calling
to each other.  I tried to get a photo of the one across the road but it was a good bit away
and I don’t have a big zoom on my lens. So it probably just looks like a little speck on
the pictures lol.

We went to pick up some groceries yesterday. Just  wally-world and one other store, and
it kicked my butt.  I was so sore after the quick dash into the second store. I felt like I
walked the mall, Costco, and did I don’t know what else.  How am I supposed to walk
the big garage sale next weekend?  And I heard talk of the mall afterwards……I better
rest up lol. And take ibuprofen before we start out!!! It might help, maybe?

I’m struggling this week with my better food choices.  All I want is chips and candy.  I caved yesterday and had the new Dr Pepper Berry.  OMG…it’s so good.  Almost good
enough to make me wander off my no soda quest.  YIKES!  Dr Pepper Cherry is my kryptonite.  This one is really close to making me want to indulge more than I should.

I know I can do it.  I know it can be hard.  In the end, it really is for the best.  For my own health and well being.  It was a bit shocking to go through wally-world and see the outrageous prices on fresh veggies.  Almost 2.00 for a head of lettuce!  Almost 1.50 a pound for squashes.  And don’t get me started on the price of eggplant.  Fruits aren’t
much better in prices. When you do find reasonable priced say blueberries, they taste like nothing. Flavorless!  Even crazier….asparagus has been cheaper out of season than it is now that it is in season.

I’ve got the urge to pull out my writing binder.  Not to necessarily work on my old story,
but more to just go through and maybe set it up for a new project if one comes to mind.
There was some writing related stuff I left behind, that I now wish I had with me. And I can’t remember what websites I found those things on.  I had a whole binder of stuff.
SIGH!  I might have something on my old hard drive, like saved PDFs or links. But I haven’t had access to it in a few years.  I really need to get the resident computer geek to put it in my PC so I can access stuff and move things to Dropbox. Hmmm, I wonder if I can just hook it up to the internet and download Dropbox on it and move stuff over that way?  I can’t remember if it still has it’s ram sticks or not.

I think it’s time to forage the fridge for some lunch.  It’s about that time anyway.

Have a lovely Friday ❤

Do You Ever?

Do you ever find it difficult to get excited about something?

Like you don’t feel like you deserve it.  Or it has quite come to fruition and
so you are afraid to feel joy and get excited because it might not happen.

That’s sort of where I am right now.  I want this thing.  It’s a bucket list thing.
But I feel so undeserving.  Plus it’s a little on the pricey side.  But but but….

 

DUDE!!! It’s fucking Garth Brooks!  He’s coming to town in July.  And someone
is willing to buy me a ticket. Just have to find a way to repay her….looks like I might
have to do some Grasshopper duty in the future.

I’m not a big country music person. I like some songs here and there.  I was more of
an old time country music listener because that’s what my Dad liked.  Kenny Rogers,
Dolly Parton, Willie Nelson, and the like.  But I LOVE LOVE LOVE Patsy Cline.

AND….I love Garth Brooks!!  If she can get the tickets, we’ll be going to see him.  It’s
a ladies night out.  It’s “Mom’s” mother’s day gift from her kids and I get to go too.
Hopefully…..I’m afraid to get too excited until I know the tickets are bought.

My other Bucket List concerts I want to see:
U2
P!nk
Cher
Lady Gaga
Duran Duran
Culture Club

There’s one song I wish he would sing, but I know he probably won’t because he
doesn’t preform it live.  It’s called “The Change”.  I don’t believe he has done it live
since 1996.  If you want to know more, you can read this article. At the bottom of the
article is a video of the song.

But like, why can’t I ever be like fuck yeah I’m getting something I want?
Why do I have to be all, nah I’m good it’s okay, you don’t have to do that for me.
Sigh……………………

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