Day 29 – Recap

 Today’s Nudge: Recap the month.

Is it day 29 already? Didn’t we just start? Tomorrow’s the last day? Boy time sure does fly!

I can’t hardly believe that I actually have blogged for almost 30 days! And on two blogs! Sometimes I’m a little more open there than I am here, because I a pen name there. There were days that I almost didn’t want to post because I was so tired.  Or I had something to do that day and it would be late in the evening before I posted.  But I’ve sat my ass in the chair at the computer and blogged every damn day!  It feels good.

I don’t know if I will keep up both blogs on a daily basis.  But I would like to see myself posting regularly.

I feel like I may have grown a little.  Some days were uncomfortable to write, others were plain hard. Yet there were those that were almost a piece of cake.  I have felt vulnerable and exposed as I opened up here.  There is so much more that has not been said.  Topics not covered.  To hear that I am not alone and that some of you have been through similar things brought me some sense of ease.  Just knowing that, makes me feel a little less crazy.  And when I start to feel otherwise, I can come back here and read the comments to remind.

I think I have discovered somethings or perhaps uncovered.  One thing I realized is that I am still living to please other people without regard to my own happiness.  I don’t do things I want to do because I think someone else won’t like it.  I won’t cook certain things because someone else won’t eat it. I hesitate to write any of my story ideas on the computer because my typing might (or does) annoy someone.  I don’t sing out loud any more, I don’t dance to my favorite song any more.

There is a quote that comes to mind, and it is this

“In many shamanic societies, if you came to a medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions: “When did you stop dancing? When did you stop singing? When did you stop being enchanted by stories? When did you stop being comforted by the sweet territory of silence? – Gabrielle Roth

And I think that perhaps this makes Effy a Shaman, a Medicine Woman among us.  She inadvertently asked us these questions very gently and quietly.  With a nudge.

See you all tomorrow to wrap up this adventure with a final post for September.